|
2007 was Wozza’s comeback year… well almost. As Brisbane celebrated the twentieth anniversary of the Fitzgerald Inquiry into bent coppers, the star witness and strip shop owner, Warren ‘Wozza-the-Loophole’ Armstrong, was also back in business and, as usual, back in the headlines.
He was running a dirty car wash called Bubbles’n’Babes and for once he was given a clean bill of health from the police. He was even working within the water restrictions.
Well almost.
But was Wozza coming clean?
He said, “I don’t give a @!#^ ing @!#^ about coming clean, I mean who gives a @!#^. To be fair to @!#^ ing Peter Beattie, to be fair to the @!#^ he has handed down laws that are @!#^ing the toughest in Australia but are pretty easy to @!#^ing work with because there’s not so @!#^ing much in between @!#^ing bull@!#^ as in the past when @!#^ like me was always able to find the @!#^ing in between. I’m @!#^ing good at that.
“I mean you get sick of fighting the @!#^ anyway, you get sick of @!#^ing lawyers, I’ve got better things to do, I mean I don’t give a @!#^ but you’re better off not having to @!#^ing face the problem.”
Wozza was glamming up his car wash so his babes would have a little stage to loll around in the nude for customers, and he installed a shmickoe water recycling system.
“We’re @!#^ing right on top of that because we’re big into the @!#^ing recycling and we on top of the @!#^ing regulations. We’ve got $50,000 worth of @!#^ing recycling equipment here mate, black water going in mate, and you can @!#^ing drink the water coming out.”
Wozza said he started up his dirty car wash because there’s no fun left in Brisbane anymore.
“No fun at all mate. We’ve got these funny little @!#^ing licensed brothels which are about as @!#^ing much fun as you can poke a @!#^ing stick at, you couldn’t even get a drink there or @!#^ you know, whatever, and you’ve got all your little strip clubs and all your little adult entertainment permits, and you’ve got controllers all sitting there and they’ve all got @!#^ing badges on, and you can’t roll though the door half @!#^ing @!#^ and have a @!#^ing few laughs.”
But, Wozza reckoned his dirty car wash was a ton of fun.
“We do a @!#^ing $29 bikini wash, a $55 @!#^ing topless wash, a $75 nude wash and then we do a hundred dollar @!#^ing wash which is a nude wash and then turns into a triple x @!#^ing show and all the guys are @!#^ing jerking off. So it’s a car wash, @!#^ing peep show cum, @!#^ed if I know what you’d call it. But it’s not a strip show because most strip shows you haven’t got some @!#^ing @!#^ with his @!#^ing dick in his hand.
“Sugarheads who just spend @!#^ing $29, well the roller door stays up and the girl just washes the car and he sits there @!#^ing supervising the @!#^ing job, and you get all the @!#^ing gays and the @!#^ing boring @!#^, and any fair dinkum @!#^ing Aussie who gets in there and spends $55 or $75 gets a @!#^ing nude show.
“It’s a bit more @!#^ ing fun that sitting down the road at some of the hand wash cafes that are just full of boring @!#^.”
‘Nuff said.
BREAKING NEWS: Wozza might have been sick of fighting the @!#^ anyway, but the @!#^ weren’t sicking of fighting with him. Shortly after authorities gave a clean bill of health to Wozza’s dirty car wash, a Brisbane councillor said he wanted to flush Wozza out of the system. Councillor David McLachlan reckoned Bubbles’n’Babes car wash didn’t have a proper planning permit and that under planning law it should be a motor vehicle workshop. He reckoned Wozza needs to register as an adult entertainment venue. Oh @!#^
MORE BREAKING NEWS: More @!#^ came out of the woodwork to get Wozza, namely the Brisbane City Council which gave him 20 days to prove his dirty car wash business does not breach the Town Plan. Oh double @!#^
MORE BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: Actually who gives a @!#^ about this mad @!#^
|