C’mon own up, when was the last time you clicked on those dirty Web sites and had your vicarious thrills by seeing men and women dressed in nothing other than harnesses, doing things to each other that can give any normal pervert a chill down his or her spine. You may raise your eyebrows in disgust, but in heart of hearts you do sometimes get tempted to try out things for yourself. And it is not only you lusty lads and dirty old men out there, it is also the oh-so-propah respectable ladies, who pine for such titillation

Okay, so you insist that you’re not one of them and swear that you don’t even think of indulging in such filthy deeds. Well, no offense meant. But frankly, don’t you think it’s time to let go of your prudery about “this sick stuff people do with whips and whipped creams and stuff” and infuse some excitement into your love life gone limp. Read on and give a boost, if not to your sex life, then to your knowledge, about this bizarre form of entertainment.

BDSM defined

So what is BDSM? Simply stated it is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadomasochism. You may be surprised to know that these so called perversions come quite naturally to most, since some people naturally crave to be submissive and some dominant. If you just take a look at your own sex lives, you’ll be surprised to find that you’ve already tried out some elements of BDSM without even being aware of it. Remember, how you shuddered and ended up in a heap, when your partner blindfolded you

and traced the contours of your body with a feather or an ice cube? Welcome to the warped and weird world of BDSM.

Many of you may be relating BDSM only to hardcore sadism or masochism, but the truth is that it can also be remarkably subtle, highly erotic and psychologically charged. It may not even involve sex or sexual tension! It is more of a power game, where one person agrees to submit to another to act out a fantasy. It is driven more by the needs of the submissive than by those of the dominant. And, in this game, the roles of the dominants and submissives are also not fixed and can be interchanged. You may be surprised to know that male submissives actually outnumber the female ones! Talk about role reversal!

BDSM isn’t abuse

But, before you set out to explore the realm of this pain-giving pleasure (or is it pleasure-giving pain?), it’s important to know, at the very outset, that BDSM isn’t abuse. An abuser has no regard for the feelings, needs or limits of the victim, whereas in BDSM each partner is a willing one and has a say in whatever is done to him or her. Also, the victim of abuse is not at liberty to dictate the abusers actions or set limits to it, whereas BDSM caters to the needs and desires of those being dominated. For example, flogging isn’t what you imagine it’d be like. For the most part, it’s more stimulating than painful.

Choose your own fantasy

The good part about BDSM is that it’s only limited by your imagination. There are countless ways in which you can enjoy inflicting pain on others or suffering delightful discomfiture yourself. If you think that inflicting or suffering pain isn’t your idea of enjoyment, think again. Remember those agonizing deep body massages, where you all but cry and tears of joy roll down your cheeks in painful relief? You don’t quit and in the end it proves so gratifying that you continue to come back for more. Same is the case with BDSM, which gets you so much sexually aroused that this kind of stimulation becomes fun and keeps you begging for more.

BDSM encompasses many wildly different practices and some really curious beliefs. But essentially, it gives you an opportunity to challenge your boundaries and test your limits. In the strictest sense, BDSM involves role-playing, where you may be dominant and your partner submissive or vice versa. This allows you to act out scenarios that are highly charged, psychologically and totally gratifying, physically. However, there’re a few who don’t opt for the dominant or submissive roles, as they don’t get turned on by being tied up or by bossing their partners, or such other stuff. But they still enjoy their own version of BDSM fantasies. So, the important thing to know is that there is nothing known as proper BDSM. It is what you enjoy.