EVERYONE RECKONS THEY'RE AN EXPERT BUT THE TRUTH IS THERE'S A LOT OF RUBBISH TALKED ABOUT SEX. AND, IN SOME CASES, IGNORANCE CAN HAVE DIRE CONSEQUENCES. HERE, WE SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT...
 
1 MEN HAVE A HIGHER SEX DRIVE THAN WOMEN
SEX drive is fuelled by testosterone, which men have in higher levels than women. So it's easy to assume that all blokes are permanently on sexual standby

But according to Relate sex and relationships counsellor Denise Knowles, the reality is quite different. "Men are increasingly reporting lower sex drives and much of it could be lifestyle-related. Sexual interest isn't just about hormones.

A man may have normal levels but if he's tired or stressed, that will have an effect on desire. Also ageing, obesity, smoking, alcohol and recreational drugs have a direct effect on a man's ability to have an erection."

Added to that, it's no longer taboo for women to enjoy sex. "Women now know much more about how their bodies work and how to enjoy themselves in bed. As a result they're more predatory and often as sexually motivated as men."

2 FEMALE ORGASM CAN HELP YOU CONCEIVE
THE theory behind this myth is that vaginal contractions during the woman's orgasm help the sperm on its journey to fertilise the egg. "In reality, if the sperm weren't motile (capable of movement), the contractions wouldn't be strong enough to move it towards the egg," says GP Dr Dawn Harper.

3 CONDOMS PROTECT AGAINST ALL STIs
IF used correctly, condoms offer total protection against some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as HIV, gonorrhoea and chlamydia, but they can't fully prevent syphilis, genital herpes or warts.

Dr Patrick French, consultant at Mortimer Market Centre GUM (genito-urinary medicine) clinic in London explains: "These infections are passed on through skin-to-skin contact and may affect areas not covered by a condom. A person may also be infected even if there are no obvious rashes or sores. However, condoms will still reduce transmission risk by around 50 per cent."

If you're starting a new relationship, the safest option is for you both to get a full STI checkup at your local GUM clinic. Look in the phone book or visit playingsafely.co.uk.

4 NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE A G-SPOT
EVERY woman has a G-spot - however, it's far from a magic, multiple-orgasm button waiting to be pressed. While stimulation does the trick for some women, it just makes others feel like they need to wee.

"The real myth is that we've hyped up the G-spot orgasm to be the ultimate experience and when we don't have it we feel let down," says Denise Knowles. "The key is to relax and explore what makes you orgasm, rather than pressurising your partner."

5 IF HE PULLS OUT I WON'T GET PREGNANT
THIS myth leads to thousands of unwanted pregnancies every year. "Sperm are present in the seminal fluid, which is released before the man ejaculates so even if he withdraws his penis before orgasm, his partner could still get pregnant," says GP Dr Dawn Harper.

6 YOU CAN'T GET STIs FROM ORAL SEX
WRONG - although it's less common. STIs that can be passed on through oral sex include herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhoea and nonspecific urethritis (NSU), an inflammation of the urethra (the tube where urine comes out) that only affects men.

And it's possible le to catch HIV through oral sex if you have cuts or sores in your mouth, though there are few proven instances of this.

"If you're worried, you can use flavoured condoms or a dental dam for women," advises Dr French. Check out British Condoms at britishcondoms.com or call 0845 8256.

7 WOMEN GO OFF SEX AFTER THE MENOPAUSE
FAR from going off it, many post-menopausal women are having their best sex ever.

"They often feel liberated to enjoy sex without the fear of pregnancy or the stress of bringing up children," says Denise. Also today's generation of 50-plus women are healthier than their predecessors and the advent of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) means many women aren't plagued with the low sex drive and vaginal dryness often associated with the change in hormones around this time.

8 YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT DURING YOUR PERIOD
WOMEN ovulate 14 days before a period - not 14 days after the last one. "So it's feasible that if your next period is going to come early you may be preparing another egg towards the end of your current period," explains Dr Dawn Harper. "Some women also experience mid-cycle bleeding so you could mistake it for a period but it would be just the time that you're fertile."

9 THE RISK OF GETTING HIV IS DECLINING
THIS is a dangerous assumption to make. HIV is the fastest-growing serious health condition in the UK. By December 2005, it was estimated that 65,000 people were affected with a third of those undiagnosed, according to charity the Terrence Higgins Trust.

And in 2004, 59 per cent of the 7,275 new HIV infections were from heterosexual sex.

Fortunately, drug treatment has increased the life expectancy of sufferers, but there's still no cure and the virus can become drug-resistant. HIV damages the immune system, leaving it vulnerable to attack from serious infection.

10 A SAME-SEX FANTASY MUST MEAN I'M GAY
SAME-sex fantasies are totally normal and have no bearing on whether you're gay, bisexual or straight. "This sort of fantasy is about curiosity," says Denise. "Just because you fantasise about something doesn't necessarily mean you'd enjoy the reality, but the wonderful thing is that fantasy is only in your head."

11 SEX IS BAD FOR PEOPLE WITH HEART DISEASE
STORIES of people having heart attacks during sex hit the headlines now and again, so is it dangerous for anyone with heart disease?

GP Dr Dawn Harper explains: "People with heart disease should be able to lead a completely normal sex life. Even people who've had a heart attack can normally resume their sex lives within two or three weeks unless there are complications. However if you suffer from chest pain during sex, you should stop immediately and see your GP."

On the whole, Dr Harper says sex does more good than harm. "It boosts your immune system and is good for stress levels and energy," she says.

12 IT'S BAD SEX IF I DON'T HAVE AN ORGASM
EXPERTS agree that good sex doesn't have to end in orgasm for either or both partners every time. The important bit is whether you've both enjoyed it. And, believe it or not, it's possible you may actually miss it.

"An orgasm may consist of anything from one to 15 muscular contractions over an eight-second period. If you only have two contractions, you may well not notice it," explains Denise Knowles.

However, according to the Sexual Dysfunction Association, 12 per cent of women never have an orgasm. And both women and men may lose the ability to orgasm, due to medical reasons such as diabetes or heart disease, or emotional reasons such as anxiety.

13 SEX DURING PREGNANCY MIGHT HURT THE BABY
THE majority of pregnant women can carry on having a healthy sex life throughout their pregnancy. However, according to Dr Dawn Harper, there are two exceptions. "If you have placenta previa, where the placenta is lying right over the cervix, sex could cause bleeding and a premature labour. Also, it's best to avoid sex if you've had bleeding or contractions after intercourse as this could bring on early labour," she explains.